apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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