what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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