Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize