Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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