Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
