K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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