you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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