Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
