She's JV to your varsity
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
