O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
