The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
