A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
