just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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