he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
