I'll bet she douches with gravy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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