FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
