super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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