i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
