last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
