He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
