porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
