I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
