I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
