i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
