so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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