well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
