He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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