Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
