Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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