i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
