Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize