So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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