chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
