Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
