discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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