I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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