Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
