i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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