i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
