What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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