So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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