hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
