you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
