Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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