Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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