As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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