I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
