He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
