Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
