Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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