And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
