don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
