There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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