70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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