yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
