how can u be prego again
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
