Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
