peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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