That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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