I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
