Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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