2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
