do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
