She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you would pick up someone in the library
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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