So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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