So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
