Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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