He disabled his match.com account in front of me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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