So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
