Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
